A Flawless Demo

Exactly 5 hours and 11 minutes ago our team facilitated a flawless demo. In my opinion, it couldn't have went better.

This is significant for us because, as I may have mentioned in the past, our program funding is dwindling out, soon to expire by years end. So, we got all the right people in the room; our IPT lead, the director of our division, the business development leads for the division, the IRAD lead for the division....all the big ticket players who we could coax into a meeting.

The entire audience was very excited about the technologies, the customer satisfaction, the performance.....everything. All was going well, 'til the discussion came to funding.

Then, all these major players dropped their eyes to the floor and acted like they "left their wallet at home". Sigh.

Software Quality Assurance -- SQA

This posting is aimed at you individuals whose career velocity brought them to a career in SQA:

Your job is a joke....your career a farce...your respect undeserved and absent. No one outside your department respects your job nor opinion.

I say this not to hurt, nor instigate a rebuttal but to point out the large gray elephant in the room, the one no one talks about. Think of me as your mother...tearing off the bandage to let the healing begin.

Some of the nicest people I know work in SQA. That doesn't change my opinion on the matter, it only pushes it to a region where no one talks about it. The fact of the matter is that the majority of the people working in SQA are genuinely nice people, intelligent people, and all around good fellas (in a unisex means). They aren't what I would call motivated people, or driven individuals. No, SQA groupies are typically 9-5'ers....9-3'ers when they can get away with it, 9-5'ers with long lunches when they can't.

I've been involved in professional software engineering going on 11 years now. SQA has had a role in each program that I've been involved in, so I have a working knowledge of their impact on the development process. The fact of the matter is that it has no positive impact on the process. It never has a positive impact. It has yet in 10 years proved to identify a relevant issue or flaw. The little known fact is that SQA is informally responsible for hampering the development process in a form of white-collar unemployment. We literally pay the entire department to push paper, author obsolete processes that don't even casually reflect reality. Only monolithic programs like defense contractors can even afford to employ such wastefulness, sadly because it is your money to burn and not theirs.

So if, my fair reader, you find yourself currently employed in SQA rise above it, grab a firm grip on your bootstraps and give a good yank. Retrain yourself, motivate yourself, do whatever it takes to get out of your career purgatory. You may find a career as an escort (read that as hooker) commands more respect...at least you'll be providing someone a service.

Vietnam Hippies Revisted

As I drove home from work today I passed a sign in some meatheads yard reading "Support Our Troops - End The War". As a true supporter of our troops I am disappointed and enraged at such displays. I have yet to meet a person who genuinely likes war, probably because I don't spend time with psychos. The fact of the matter is...we are in, and we need to finish the job. Vietnam was a prime example of the moral of our country and our troops when we don't give our troops the support to complete the job.

I'm sure idiots like our yard sign poster would have fit in quite nicely with the hordes of draft-dodgers, drug doping hippies, and the protesters that spit on our troops on their return. I wonder if such meatheads admire the hippies and protesters of yesteryears, or if they believe that they are any different.

These proud soldiers have put their American dreams on hold, and lives on the line to defend those of us that have stayed behind. The absolute least we can do is not embarrass them or stand in the way of allowing them to complete the task at hand and return proud of their accomplishments.

A final note to our yard-poster, Canada is just a quick trip north...I'll help you pack.

Off-topic MNDOT Rant

As I found my way to the office this morning while listening to the radio, the radio announcer hinted of a snow forecast for later in the morning. At the time, not a speck of snow, nor rain, was present in brisk morning air.

As I came upon a large vehicle with warning lights....a tow truck? Perhaps an ambulance, or fire engine. What else could it be???

Well, let me tell you. MNDOT in their infinite wisdom decided to salt the road PRIOR to snowfall. What kind of genius salts the road without snow or ice? Surely they are attempting vegetation control of the ditches. That is the only reasonable explanation since applying salt unnecessarily to a road results in cars driving over said salt, crushing said salt, and having the wind blow it off the road into the ditches. Simple as that.

MNDOT isn't underfunded. They have plenty of money to waste, they do it daily. What they don't lack however is incompetence; they surely have a surplus in that area.

I've Been IT'd

Once again I've been IT'd, that is "Information Technology"'d. I have recently began using it as a verb, synonymous with screwed, broken, f**cked...

Is it just me, or is it just our IT department? For the past 3 years, IT has managed to break our systems fairly regularly on a monthly schedule. The past 6 months, they've broken our network a total of 4...count 'em....four times! I'm convinced that 100 monkeys with 100 keyboards couldn't cause any more mayhem and quite possible provide better support.

While they lack competence, they thrive in lack of dedication. Come 3-4 o'clock you'd be hard pressed to fit a sheet of paper between any given meathead that makes up the steady stream of those heading for the door. Jetta after Jetta, off to screw up someone else's machine...or perhaps a marathon session of World of Warcraft (tee hee).