Technologies to Minimize Geekhood

Alas my fellow geek our time has come!!

My wife no more than an hour ago underwent Lasik eye correction eliminating her dependency on glasses. She will soon realize all the advantages of those before her with perfect vision. But I ask you.....where was this procedure 20 years ago?

As a boy, my down-spiraling story began in the 4th grade. As a small, skinny kid from the trailer park I had little going for me. My shoes a step down from Converse, my jeans from K-mart, my facial features from centuries of down-beaten Polish/German ancestries, and my hair a step up from collie, or Bovidae. In short, not a lot going for me.

While 'getting the ladies' is not impossible in the 4th grade under those circumstances, throw on a pair of spectacles and you've just signed yourself up to a long decade of virginity...a 10ft boobie free zone following you late into your teens.

Today however we have technologies that even the playing fields. Lasik removes our NF glasses, pec implants giving us a chiseled chest, Alli meds for our belly minimization (read that diet pills), steroids to bulk up, and Viagra to ensure our sexual prowess.

I hesitate to think how my adolescent life would have changed had these been available to me. I probably would have spent every dime on a tackle box full of medications rather than a black beasty hot-rod. I'd have probably got more play with the ladies, and been too tired to study....leading into a long career of "...would you like to supersize?" rather than software engineering.

Eh, maybe it worked out for the better; I loved that car.